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main content Domestic violence help and advice

What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence is the physical, emotional, sexual or mental abuse of one person (usually a woman) by another person, with whom they have had an intimate relationship.

Domestic violence is rarely a one-off event.  It tends to escalate in frequency and severity over time.

It can be physical and can include: slapping, punching, beating, kicking, knife wounds – often leading to permanent injuries or death.

It can be sexual – this could include being forced to have sex against your will, sexual degradation, forcing sex in ways that hurt and abuse you.

It can also be emotional and mental, including constant criticism, telling you that you are useless, ugly or worthless. Threatening to kill or harm you or your children, intimidation, bullying, being locked in or kept in isolation away from your family or friends, not allowing you any money, food sleep or freedom.

Is domestic violence just happening to me?

No, it is far more common than most people think.  There were over 1,700 reported incidents of domestic violence in Bromley last year.  Research has found that on average, a woman is assaulted at least 35 times before she reports an assault to the police.

Have I done something wrong to make me a victim?

No, the person who is wrong is the person assaulting you. Everyone is entitled to live in a safe environment free from the fear of assault and abuse.

I have provoked him to make him assault me.

Wrong.  A woman experiencing violence and abuse is often made to feel and think that it is her fault.  Research has found that abusers often find fault with the woman’s housekeeping or childcare skills as an excuse for the violence.  These comments are normally aimed at making the woman feel ashamed and responsible to prevent her reporting the abuse to someone else.

If I report the domestic violence, Social Services will take my children away.

Wrong.  Often abusers want to make women believe that it is not culturally acceptable to make their violence public and that if social services are informed, the children would be taken into care.  This is not true.  Social Services wish to avoid taking children into care wherever possible and aim to support the non-abusive and caring parent to stay with the children.

Where can I get help and advice in Bromley?

Within Bromley there are many organisations that can offer practical advice, help and support including Bromley Domestic Violence One-Stop Shop, Police Community Safety Unit, Bromley Women’s Aid, Bromley Victim Support and many others.

What is the One-Stop Shop?

The Bromley Domestic Violence One-Stop Shop is a drop-in advice centre specifically for people suffering from domestic violence.  It is a free and confidential centre staffed by various local agencies.  The One-Stop Shop has two sessions each week. One session is held on Tuesday mornings between 9.30am and 12.30pm at the Citizens Advice Bureau, Snowdown Close, Penge SE20 7RU.

The second session is held on Thursday afternoons between 1.30 and 4pm at Community House, South Street, Bromley BR1 1RH.

For more information and advice, telephone the Bromley Police Community Safety Unit on 020 8284 8760 or the Bromley Domestic Violence Coordinator on 020 8313 4290.

Do I have to go to court if I report domestic violence to the police?

No.  Bromley Police’s Community Safety Unit deals with all incidents of domestic violence reported to the police.  This unit is staffed by specially trained police officers.  The officer dealing with your case will discuss your options with you when investigating your allegation.  If you decide to prosecute your abuser, the officer will advise you regarding your security and help you go through the court process.

What is Bromley Women's Aid?

Bromley Women’s Aid is a group which was set up 27 years ago, to help women and children experiencing domestic violence.  They currently run seven refuges in Bromley, two of which are specialised – one providing help and accommodation to women without children and the other helping women who also have mental health needs.

Domestic violence help and advice (continued)

Domestic violence help and advice (continued)