main content Domestic violence safety plan

Domestic Violence is a hate crime and will not be tolerated.  If you are experiencing domestic violence these guidelines are to try to help you keep safe.  Following them will not guarantee your safety but could help to improve it, and if you have children it could help to improve their safety also.

Tell somebody

If you are experiencing domestic violence it is important that you tell somebody before it gets any worse.  If what you are experiencing is particularly serious or you are afraid that it may become serious, DON'T BE AFRAID TO CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY on 999.

Domestic Violence is a serious offence and the police can help you to stop it. However, if you don't want to contact the police or would prefer to speak to somebody else about the incident first, you can contact us at theBromley Domestic Violence One-Stop Shop on 020 8284 8870.

We will provide you with free and confidential advice and support, help you to identify your options and make contact with other sources of help on your behalf if you wish us to (e.g. your local Women's Refuge, Bromley's Police Community Safety Unit, etc.).

When you report an incident/incidents of domestic violence, it is important to give as many of the following details as possible:

• the date, time and place that the incident(s) occurred;
• what happened (who said and did what, any threats made)?;
• a description of the person/people abusing you and their relationship to you;
• details of any person/people who witnessed the abuse; and
• any evidence of the incident (e.g. photographs of damage to property or injuries to you, e-mails, phone calls, letters, etc.)

             If you are in an abusive relationship:

• Know where you can go to get help, or to tell someone what is happening to you.
• Tell somebody about your situation even if you feel you cannot go to the police; for example a sympathetic friend, relative, work colleague, neighbour, or teacher who can provide you with help and support.  Work out a visual signal or a word with them that you can use to alert them if you are in need of help.
• If possible keep a phone accessible at all times and know the numbers that you can call for help if you are being harassed. Bromley Women's Aid emergency telephone number is 0208 313 9303.  There is also a free National Domestic Violence Helpline available 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.

              Don't be afraid to call the Police on 999 in an Emergency

• Try to think about your partner's use of physical force and the level of force so that you can assess the danger to you and any children involved before an incident occurs.
• If you feel an abusive situation is about to arise, try and avoid it by leaving the situation.
• Work out which are the safest areas of the house - areas where there are no weapons and where there are always ways to escape.  Try to move to these areas if arguments occur.
• If you have children, don't run to where they are, as your partner may hurt them as well.  Think through and practise how to get out of your home safely in an emergency.  If you have children practise with them.
• Plan for what you will do if your partner finds out about your safety plan.
• Keep a detailed record of any incidents of abuse (including details of the abuse and any threats made, the date and time that it occurred), and any evidence (e.g. photographs of damage to property or injuries to you, e-mails, phone calls, letters, etc.).
• If violence is unavoidable, try to make yourself as small a target as possible - dive into a corner if you can and curl up into a ball, protecting your face and with your arms around either side of your head and your fingers entwined.
• If your partner injures you go to a doctor or hospital for treatment and report what has happened to you.  Ask them to document your visit.

              If you are thinking about leaving an abusive relationship:

• We can provide you with free and confidential advice and support and help you to identify the options and resources that are available to you if you want to leave.
• If possible, try to set some money aside each week or get a trusted friend or family member to hold money for you.  Don't forget to collect together all the documents that you will need.  These include birth certificates, marriage certificate, driving licence, benefit books, bank books and credit cards.
• If possible pack a bag with essential clothing for you and any children you may have and store it at a trusted friend, neighbour or work colleague's house (try to avoid using mutual friends of you and your partner, close family members or next-door neighbours).

              If you have left an abusive relationship, but are still being
              harassed:

• Make friends, relatives, neighbours, work colleagues and teachers at your child/children's school (if applicable) aware of your situation, so that they are better able to help you if you need them to.
• Try not to isolate yourself or place yourself in a vulnerable position. Work out which are your safest routes to and from home, school, your place of work, etc. and use them (for example, use busy, well-lit streets where possible, and know where payphones are along your route).  If your partner/ex-partner is familiar with the routes you take, change them.  If you cannot try to walk with a friend.
• If you feel scared or uncomfortable in a situation and think that it may lead to your being abused or a crime being committed against you, trust your instincts and avoid it by walking away.  If you are chased, run and make noise to alert people's attention.  You may want to carry a whistle.
• If you have moved home or your partner/ex-partner has left the home you shared as a result of a restraining order, but you are still being harassed at home, lock your doors and windows (if you have a restraining order and your partner left you should change the locks), call the police, take pictures of any damage done to your property and keep any hate mail to show to the police. Make sure that you have a smoke alarm fitted in your hallway (your local council can help you with this).
• If you have a restraining order that your partner/ex-partner is breaking, call the police to get them to enforce the order.
• Again, keep a detailed record of any incidents of abuse (including details of the abuse and any threats made, the date and time that it occurred), and any evidence (e.g. photographs of damage to your property or injuries to you, e-mails, phone calls, letters, etc.).